mlsandry:

we are like young sharknados

assgod:

i have the same thing but for my emergency dildo

vanillish:

*slides this over desk during job interview*

jetbag:

"look at the stars, 

look how they shine for you” image

atomic-creeper:

fuckthehipsters:

I’ve been laughing about this for 10 minutes

i lost my shit 

larrycoincidences:

do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly it’s 4pm and you’ve achieved literally nothing 

cumsock:

phukers:

I’m going to nickname my child lil Bitch 

i see you’re passing on the family name

adventuresonpaper:

I’ll come back for you i whisper as i caress the books i can’t afford